Violet's 17 Months EC Update

With both my girls I have taken care of their lovely toilet needs with elimination communication. I started taking Nola potty at 7 months, and started with Violet around 2 weeks. Elimination Communication is not potty training. So don't ask me how to get your 2 year old to use the potty. I have no idea. All I know about is taking babies potty and saving yourself some nasty poop clean up. Yes, people think I'm crazy. Yes, people think it's too time consuming. Yes, people think I'm an over achiever. But I love it anyway.

So Violet is 17 months old now. Not an entirely unheard of age to try out traditional potty training. I don't get as many strange looks when taking her potty in public places. She hasn't made any huge changes since my last update at 15 months. I would say that in general she is staying dryer, communicating her needs more often before she goes, and we are cleaning up less wet training pants. The last time we cleaned up a Numero Dos, was a Friday morning. I heard she was awake, but I laid in bed ignoring her longer than she was able to contain her bowels. When I finally got up I knew she would be poopy. A good pre-breakfast poop is usually part of her routine.

We are still using good ol' Gerber training pants in an 18 month size. We also have some Green Sprouts training pants. They are thicker and have a layer of wet resistance, which doesn't really do much after so many washings, but they hold a little more pee than the Gerber. On average, she only pees her pants once or twice a day.

I'm really proud of Vee! If you have questions for us about EC, leave a comment below.

Elimination Communication With My 14 Month Old

Violet wore her Gerber training pants one day last week and kept them dry the entire day! She wore a diaper for nap. The girls had a hard time settling down at nap time so I went in a half hour after laying them down and changed Violet's diaper before laying the smack down. But when she woke up from nap her diaper was dry! I am feeling quite proud. As long as I stay relaxed and don't expect too much from her nobody gets stressed out. The Gerber training pants didn't hold much pee the first few times she wore them, but after being washed quite a few times they are doing well at preventing pee from getting all the way down her legs and to the carpet when she has a little miss.

She still doesn't tell us she needs to go. So far she does well with the potty being offered frequently. I totally understand the people who say, "She's not potty trained, you're potty trained!" I agree. I like to add the word "independently" to the phrase potty trained. Violet is not independently potty trained. But she does know how to use the toilet. To me that is worth the effort. This may be reaching, but go with me and think of it this way...we don't refuse to feed our children until they can figure out how to use a fork and spoon all by themselves and are able to clearly say the words, "Mom, I'm hungry." Babies and toddlers are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for. Some things are just annoying to let them do themselves. One of the things I hang onto is Violet feeding herself her oatmeal in the morning. She probably could be learning that skill, but I don't want to deal with the mess so I always do it for her.

Back to pottying...One funny thing is that Violet keeps her pants dry better when we are out running errands than when we are at home all day. Somehow she holds it between errands, up to an hour or more, knowing I'll take her at the next stop. At home those times aren't as defined, I guess. So she wets her diaper a lot more at home.

So if you're an EC mama looking down the road ahead, I'll tell you that the Gerber Training pants in 18 month size (usually this size is only online) are working fairly well when I'm in the mood to let her wear panties. They fit her well and after a few washings they are absorbing enough to keep mess off the floor. (Violet is 14 months and just under 20 pounds). Soon I'd like to get a few of these for going out because they're waterproof. They're actually swim diapers, but they're padded just enough to hold one missed pee and they come in a very small size for Violet's tiny buns. And they are quite a bit cheaper than waterproof training pants.

Are you an EC mommy? Share the love in the comments below!

Violet and the Potty after 13 Months Together...a love story.

Violet has really turned a corner with her pottying. She is 13 months old. She's been using the potty since she was two weeks. We have used diapers her whole life. Yep. All 13 months of it. But we have consistently offered her the potty all those 13 months, as well.

We recently took a trip to Kansas to see family for Christmas. I bought Pampers Easy Ups to take along, rather than cloth. I debated between those and the new Huggies slip-ons. The slip-ons are a hair smaller. They come in a diaper size 3. But you get the same amount of diapers for the same price with each brand, so I decided I'd like the vanishing-when-wet flowers on the Easy Ups. They are a bit big on my 18 pound 13 month old, but they work pretty good. For night time, I brought along wipeable diaper covers so the pull ups wouldn't leak where they gape at her legs. It was a perfect combination! No leaking at night and no cloth to wash.

Violet was a champ! She used a total of four, maybe five, pull ups all weekend! She stayed dry while driving, with the exception of one little pee. She didn't poop in them until the morning after we got home. I woke up to nasties that morning, but she still finished up on the potty. I was really amazed.

She still doesn't tell us she needs to go. But she's evidently learning to hold it until we get her to a potty. We take her about every hour. Having the pull ups makes it so much easier! It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. But I swear I took her more often simply because all I have to do is pull up and pull down, without laying her down to change a diaper. Ryan still grumbles just a little, only a little, when I say Vi needs to go potty. It does take frequent trips to be successful. But when she's keeping her pants dry, it is so rewarding!

Grandma Nita always says, "Yessssssss!" when the girls use the potty for her. Accompanied by the elbow to the torso action. This weekend, I noticed Violet, after pottying, would put her hands in a little fist, smile, and make the sound, "sssssssss!"

It's cute to see her feel accomplished.

Violet and the Toilet

Violet is about to turn one. Her first year went by so quickly! Here's a report on her potty habits.

Still wearing diapers. I decided there's no need to rush things. And no need to spend time cleaning up so many messes like I did when I put Nola in undies too soon. However, Violet frequently goes all day long wearing the same diaper. I call them One Diaper Days. She does especially well when we are out and about. Often holding it for over an hour, sometimes two. She definitely prefers her little potty seat to being held over public toilets. Sometimes I think she holds it just so she can go on her throne instead.

I recently tried a free pattern to make some cloth pull ups. It turned out pretty good, it's just a hair bulkier than I'd like. Being able to pull her diaper up and down really helps for frequent potty trips. It is especially helpful in public restrooms. That way I don't have to lay her down to to put her diaper on and off. I have a package of the Huggies slip-ons. The start in a size 3, which is much smaller than Pull Ups, but still a little big for Violet. I just realized I can adjust the removable sides to make them a hair skinnier. They've been helpful when we're out. I really want to find a good pattern for cloth ones, though, so we don't start buying paper diapers. Also, if I make them myself I can customize their absorbency. I like them to be very trim so I'm more motivated to get her to the potty. If I know they'll only hold one "pee", I'll take her more often.

Just like when Nola was little, Violet does not communicate to me when she needs to go. Unless I'm just missing it, which is possible. Violet just does really well with holding it until I take her. She just trusts that I will, I guess. I should be more diligent about signing "potty" to her, that would really help for the next few months of this process.

We're still loving elimination communication!

Success and Failure: A Potty Post

First the success. We went to the bookstore recently. One of my and Nola's favorite activities. Nola grabs a few stuffed animals, plays with the train table, and even looks at a book or two. I grab a book or magazine and watch her play, occasionally stopping to read her a book when requested.

We usually go just the two of us. It's not too exciting for Violet. But all three of us went recently, and while we were there Violet told me she needed to poop. Not in so many words, of course. She looked at me intently and grunted and grunted. She stopped. I said, "Violet, do you need to go potty?" She grunted and grunted some more. So I took her to the potty and she pooped!

Slight coincidence? A little bit. But it's evidence that she does recognize the feeling of needing to go, without immediately letting it loose. If I hadn't taken her to the potty right away, she probably wouldn't have waited, say, until we got home. But it was a good chance for her to start learning that we will take her to the potty if she communicates her needs. Get it? That's why they call it elimination communication. She communicates to us when she needs to eliminate. Fancy sounding words for such a gross part of life.

Lesson learned? A few little grunts really may mean "Take me potty, please" in Violet talk.

And now for the failure. Violet woke from a morning nap while I was teaching my preschool Spanish class here at home. I quickly went and got her and ran back to class. I didn't take her potty like I usually do when she wakes up. Then I proceeded to go on with class and completely ignore her. She was happy in her bumbo seat. When class was over I picked her up and got a nasty whiff of number two. Sure enough, she had pooped. I can't be sure, but I don't think she was poopy when I got her out of bed or I would've smelled it. It was rather foul.

Lesson learned? If I want her to use the potty I have to offer it at predictable times, consistently. At this age the goal is not for her to be able to "hold" her elimination, the goal is that I will take her when she needs to go. We're still working on our communication (like the success story above) so right now we are relying on routine. I have a feeling she was waiting for me to get her out of bed before she pottied, but when I didn't take her like usual she thought, "Well, I'm not holding this forever so guess I'm going in the diaper." Also, she may have been showing signs of needing to poop during class but I was ignoring her. I wasn't communicating with her. It's a two way street, that communication. If she's communicating, I have to listen.

Potty Queen

Violet is still rockin' the potty. On the morning of my birthday she had some nasty surprises in her diaper when I got her up. Happy Birthday, Mom! But other than that she has been putting poop where it belongs.

I haven't even tried super hard with the peeing. She does pee when I put her on the potty, but I don't take her enough to keep her diaper dry. I'm waiting on the motivation that cute new cloth trainers will bring. Which I am planning on sewing. So after I get the motivation for the sewing then we'll be ready to go!

She is seven months old now. I still take her potty at the same times as I always have. Right after nursing or eating, and right when she wakes up. She will occasionally show signs of straining and I will get her to the potty to do her business then, too.

I feel really happy we chose elimination communication. Every family is different, and you have to do what works for you. So far this process isn't causing anyone in our family undue stress. So we're still plugging along with it. And I really like it, actually.

If you are getting ready to have a baby or are just dreaming about someday let me say: You can totally do this! It's normal and natural and not as crazy or time consuming as it sounds!

If you already have small children, are pulling your hair out today, and want to punch me in the face when you read about my baby going potty let me say: I totally understand. And, you're right, nobody ever goes to college in diapers. One way or another, kids get potty trained.

This is just something that works for us. So what about you? What's your thing? Every mom has something that they do that other moms think is crazy. Spill it.

Mundane Monday, of course

We spent the morning at the zoo with some friends from out of town. (I had fun talking cloth diapers with them. I'm like a Jehovah's Witness for cloth diapers.) It was pretty hot at the zoo, but the humidity wasn't too bad. The a/c in our car isn't quite up to par, though. That's frustrating. After a few minutes in the car Nolie's little nose beads up with sweat. She's hot blooded anyway.

We had a long weekend with meetings at church. My mom came to help out with the girls and it was awesome. Nola really enjoyed her time with Gramma Kaffy. Violet even seemed to smile at her more "knowingly" this visit.

The girls shared Violet's room the whole time mom was here. They did great at nighttime. Naps were a little tricky, but doable. The are usually both napping at the same time in the afternoon, but Nola has been having a harder time with naps lately. She plays and plays, and we do our best to discipline her to stay in her bed but she just seems to take forever to fall asleep. And Violet thinks Nola is funny so her antics are occasionally encouraged. Never the less, we've decided to keep them in the same room. Maybe Nola will need to rest somewhere else in the afternoons.

I'm excited that they're together because now I will really finish decorating their room. Last night I moved the furniture around until I found a configuration I liked. Their room is small. The only things in it will be their beds, their dresser, the changing table with diapers, and a small nightstand with a lamp on it. I thought leaving toys out of the room might help encourage sleeping for Nola. Fingers crossed. And I would like to be more zen, like my sister Serenity.

No big plans for this evening. It'll be nice to hang at home with the family.

The girls still aren't asleep. It's 4:36. Should I give in? For Nola, maybe. For Violet, no way. I'm about to fall asleep myself, but it's much too late for that!

Oh, yeah, Violet hasn't pooped in her diaper since I posted about it last! About two weeks, I guess. But now that I've said that, she will probably wake up poopy or something. :) This blog always jinxes me.

And the picture is from our trip to the zoo on Memorial day. The sisterly love is overwhelming. And,yeah, we're zoo crazy here. We're going again this week with my sister Felicity. What can I say? We can't get enough of those tapirs and caymans.

Hope your Monday was as mundane as mine!

A Potty Post Full of Too Much Information

Violet is 6 months old now. I have been taking her potty since she was around two weeks old. I just thought, "Why not?" I knew I wanted to do elimination communication with her the same as I did with Nola. I started Nola around 7 months, but thought I'd dive in with Violet from the get go. I was amazed at how quickly Violet caught on.

Here's the thing. Little babies pee a lot. A lot, as in, probably every ten or fifteen minutes. They've got some tiny bladders. This translates into a lot of opportunities for success on the potty. Violet pees pretty much every time the potty is offered. Most often, this is right after she wakes from a nap or right after I nurse her. Every once in a while I take her between those times, and it's more hit and miss.

She also poops in the potty. She went almost two months using the potty exclusively for pooping. It was around 4 and 5 months of age. So, I guess I would say that around 4 months she really caught on and was effectively controlling when she eliminated her bowels. (This is such a gross post.) It was around the same time that I stopped drinking milk. I still eat dairy products, but we buy almond milk for the whole family now. This diet change really affected her and she was only pooping about once a week. (My pediatrician says this is fine.) But it was still going in the potty!

We did a lot of traveling recently and she still seemed to have some serious control over her bowels. But then I started feeding her solid food. This threw off her groove. For about a week, she pooped two or three times a day it seemed like, usually in her diaper. I thought, "Oh man! Why am I even doing this? She doesn't know what she's doing. This is craziness." But then she figured it out. I guess the change in her poop threw her off and she wasn't sure how to control it or how to get it out. I don't know. But she's on top of it now. Well, her last poopy diaper was Sunday and today is only Wednesday, I realize. But she's been going just as frequently but putting it in the potty every time.

I think starting earlier is paying off. Nola was around 9 months when she started pooping in the potty successfully, 75% of the time. Poopy diapers have become rare enough already for Violet that it feels kind of weird when I have to change one. And we really don't spend our whole day in the bathroom, I promise. It probably takes me less time to hold her on the potty and let her poop, than it would to clean her up after a poopy diaper. I don't sit there all day waiting for action. She either goes or she doesn't. And then we move on with our lives.

I feel much less obsessed with this process this time around. I'm not gonna lie. I was a little crazy about it the first time. This time I'm so much more relaxed, and yet, look how successful Violet is with it! I guess I could have chilled a little last time. Sorry, Nola.

I can't wait until she is doing so well that I have an excuse to buy cute, teeny tiny cloth training pants. Don't tell Ryan.

How'd that work out for 'ya?

Nola is 30 months old. What? Nola is 2 1/2. That's better. Once I get past 18 months, I'm lost. Since Nola has recently come to a new level of independence with her potty needs (She is officially diaper free. Nights, nap times, everything.) I thought I should share how I feel about elimination communication after the fact.

I wish I'd never done it.

HAHAHAHA! Just kidding. Read on for the truth. :)

At the beginning of this process I told a friend, "If she's not potty trained earlier than most babies, this might not be worth it." Well... she wasn't. She was using the potty well before most babies her age, but she wasn't completely potty trained before the average time.

So...am I disappointed? Surprisingly no.

While it would have been nice to have a one year old who could hold her pee for two hours, elimination communication is most definitely one of those it's-the-journey-not-the-destination things. You do reap rewards in the process, though. I washed less diapers every day, little by little. From seven months old on, she rarely sat in her own poop. I'm pretty proud of that. And it was awesome to not have to wash poop out of her diapers for two years. Major motivation there. And it was just so satisfying to meet that basic need for Nola. The same way you feel all happy after your baby is nice and full from a bottle, I would feel all happy when I was able to get her to a toilet to do her business.

So...do I think this would work for everyone? Maybe.

I definitely think every mom and every baby is capable of this process. I'm not a baby potty whisperer. I just consistently offer my babies the potty, and it's like they know. And despite what my mother-in-law would say, I don't think it's because my girls are geniuses. However, having worked in daycare before, I don't know that it would be possible for your baby's caregiver to do this all day. But I do think you could try pottying only at home. With consistency, I think a baby could catch on to a routine of using a toilet at home and a diaper at daycare. Yes, I'm serious.

So, after all is said and done...I loved elimination communication so much that I'm doing it again with Sweet Baby Violet! Stay tuned for news on how that's going. I'll give you a hint: I've only washed one poopy diaper in the past six weeks. And, no, she's not crazily constipated.

Potty Routine

*I wrote this post in February. Not sure why I never posted it...*


We are almost eight months into this elimination communication experience. Nola is fifteen months old and we are oh-so-close to declaring her traditionally potty trained. I thought some might be curious to know what it's like to have a tiny toddler who uses the potty. And I thought some might like some inspiration to start taking your tiny toddler potty.

On a good day, Nola's trips to the bathroom are almost like clockwork. She's become very routine, which works nicely for us since she is still learning how to tell us when she needs to go. Here's a little breakdown of our potty routine.

8:00ish...Sometimes we get her first pee upon waking in the morning. (She has been dry all night long only once. It was after an evening of peeing her pants every twenty minutes. Literally.)

9:00ish...If we didn't get her first pee, she will usually go right after breakfast. Either way, we then have a nice long break from the bathroom. She often goes two hours or more without using the potty in the mornings.

11:00 ish...She will need to go sometime around eleven.

12:30ish...She pees before we sit down for lunch, and then pees and poos right after.

1:00ish...She will pee at least once, maybe twice, again before her nap.

1:30ish...One more pee right before nap.

3:00ish...If I get Nola right away when she wakes up from nap, she will be dry and ready to pee. If I haven't heard her and she's been awake a bit, she has usually wet her pants. We're still doing underwear at nap, unless we're at someone else's house.

4:00ish...She often pees right after eating her snack. Which is sometimes only a half hour or so after her post-nap pee.

5:00ish...In the evenings, we shoot for taking her to the potty about every hour.

6:00ish...We take her before and after eating, as well. She most often poos after a big meal.

7:00ish...potty again.

7:45ish...last potty before bed.

So that's a pretty normal day for us. When you write it down is seems like so much, but it doesn't feel that way during the day. A trip to the potty only takes about two minutes now that she wears underwear. And we don't sit around waiting on her. She goes right away. There are a few times that I KNOW she needs to go, and it will take her a second to calm down and get the job done.

A good suggestion I have followed, and has worked well, is to take her potty at transition times. Before an activity, and then after an activity. Before we leave for Target, right before we start shopping at Target. Again before we leave Target. You get the idea. Even if she doesn't go all those times, somehow I think she knows, "Mommy will take me potty soon. I don't have to pee here in the cart."

So give it a whirl! You may be surprised how receptive your toddler is to giving it a go outside their diaper.

Hello?

Hey, guys. Remember how I have a blog? Well, it seems to have slipped my mind recently. I thought I'd just quickly give a short potty update to get myself back in the groove.

Nola is going to turn one in November! I started elimination communication with her around seven months old, I think. One of her greatest achievements so far has been her weekend at Grandma's where she pooped in the potty every time all weekend! I was so happy and amazed. Pee is still a challenge, but she still goes quite often. We missed a big poop today, but didn't let it get us down! :) It's getting easier as she is getting bigger and more coordinated. She stands more steadily on her own making it easier for me to pull her pants up and down. And she can reach up and flush after she goes. Pretty cute.

I'm still very glad I did this process with her, and feel very hopeful she will be completely potty trained by 18 months. Fingers crossed.

A big shout out to gdiapers! They have been the perfect tool for this stage of potty training.

Yep, we're still doing it...

Warning: This post is a little graphic and a hair preachy.

In case you thought I would give up by now on this new, crazy, parenting technique...Nope. We're still going. Why? Because it honestly feels so natural and normal now. We went out to dinner recently and I noticed that she needed to go to the bathroom. So I swept her up quickly and off we went. I held her over the potty and she had a nice big poo. Later, while we were shopping, I needed to use the ladies room so I offered to let her go, too. After I was finished, I held her over the potty and she had a nice little pee.

We have passed the off ramps and there's no going back now. Now that Nola knows she can use the potty when she needs to poo, it feels a little strange of me to make her go in her pants. Can you imagine telling your newly potty trained three year old, "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to take you to a bathroom. Can you just poop your underwear?" I think we'd all agree that would be an unfortunate situation for all involved.

At this point, pee is still a different story. She pees WAAAAAY too much for me to get her to a potty every time, but little by little I've noticed her holding it longer. Today we went grocery shopping. She peed in her car potty before we went in, we shopped for about forty five minutes, and then she peed when we got back to the car. She also holds it more when she is being held, riding in her car seat, and just generally sitting up or standing. She pees the most when we are at home letting her play on the floor on her belly. I swear she pees every five minutes when we stay home all day. Any ideas why that would be?...

Remember, anyone can do this. I have no superpowers. I guess I'm just really into pretending I live in a third world country!

EC update

We are doing well with the pottying! I say "we" because it is definitely a joint effort. Nola still does not give any signals when she needs to go. At least, not that I recognize. But she seems to do really well with timing. Meaning that she goes almost every time the potty is offered. She has been doing so well today I let her wear some tiny undies while we are at home. As I write this, I had to clean up a tiny little "miss". But it's only the second miss today in a five hour stretch. That seems pretty good. She has not pooped in her diaper in over a week now. She uses the potty every time. So I think we may have that one pretty much conquered.

We have good days, and we have bad days. I never would have thought I would do this...but I'm actually really enjoying this process!

Hippy Mommy

I have decided to attempt infant potty training. Go ahead and laugh.

I bought a tiny potty when Nola was only a couple of months old. I had heard of parents who practice “elimination communication”. The goal is to learn your child and know the signals they give before they eliminate. And then put their elimination somewhere besides their diaper. It sounded a little extreme, but worth a shot. I set her on her potty once in a while and she even pooped in it twice. But in the end found it too difficult and stressful to “catch” her sudden, explosive poos. Once she started solid foods that all changed. It became very obvious when she was attempting to eliminate. So one day she was attempting and I thought, “Hey, let’s give it a try!” So I quickly got her on the potty and she went! She went an entire week pooping in her tiny potty, and once on the big potty at Grandma’s house. She did still go in her diaper when we were out shopping or doing other things, and at naptimes she seemed to always sneek one in before I got her up. But when we were home and awake she was a champ!

Pee is a different story. Although she has peed quite a few times in her potty, it’s harder to tell when she needs to go. So today we are experimenting. I have a huge quilt spread out in our living room. Nola is playing and watching Plaza Sesamo with just her onesie on. No diaper. This way I can see when she needs to go. (The cloth diapers I use are amazing and I have trouble telling when she is wet.) And, yes, I’ve already had to clean up one mess. But it was worth it because now I know…it appears she needs to pee a few minutes after she poops. Which I wouldn’t have thought. I assumed she was already peeing in her diaper before I catch her pooping. Lesson learned.

Ryan said to me last night, “You’re kind of a hippy mom.” I guess so. But only a little. I pick and choose my hippiness. Nola wears cloth diapers, but she eats canned baby food. I enjoy the breastfeeding bond, but Nola has slept in her own bed since the day we brought her home. I want Nola to learn to poop in the potty not for the health and well being of her inner zen, but because I’d rather flush her poop down the toilet than wash it out of her diaper!