Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Short Story

Ryan and I are in the middle of classes to become certified and licensed foster parents. We feel our next child is going to come to our family through the miracle of adoption. After much prayer, thought, consideration, and advice from our parents and friends we decided to go the route of foster adopt in the United States. While there is great need all around the world for families to care for orphans, I feel in my heart that our next child is here in the States. We've decided the best fit for our family is to only bring children into our home who are younger than our youngest, 16 month old Violet. The greatest need for foster and adoption in the US right now is older children. However, there are infants who need families. It's not as common, but it happens. We are in no hurry to have a child in our home, so we are just getting everything ready, getting approved and checked out, and buying lockable cabinets and fire extinguishers. So when the time comes that there is an infant who needs a home, we are on the list.

We have decided to foster babies who are likely to be available for adoption. What that means is that we aren't waiting for an infant whose parents' parental rights have already been terminated, making the baby immediately available for adoption. We will foster them and see where their road leads. It may lead to reunification with their parents or another one of their family members may decide to adopt them. This is risky for our hearts and we know that. It's also a risk we are asking our girls to take and we know that as well. But we feel it's fair risk to ask of our girls. Love is always risky. Even if we get babies who don't stay with us forever, we know that the time we give to them is priceless. They won't remember us, but however much time we can give them in a home of peace and stability will affect their lives forever. We truly believe that.

I haven't blogged about this yet for a couple reasons. First, it's kind of like saying "Hey! Me and Ry are trying for a baby!" And, yeah, that's awkward and personal to tell the world. Secondly, it's a big step. I wanted to make sure we had really thought it through, talked with our parents and friends, and received advice from people in our life we love and trust. This is not something we have decided on a whim. And it's not something we would be able to do without our community of friends and family.

There is a chance that through the course of foster care classes we may decide to do things differently, maybe take a different path with adoption. I'll be glad to share the journey with you. Honestly, I hope that maybe it will inspire you to do something you've always dreamt of but it seemed too hard or risky or just didn't quite fit inside your white picket fence.

After discussion back and forth with my family about adoption, and the risks and myths, and the possible heartache of foster care, my dad said this to me:

"Do the hard thing, baby. You will never regret it in the long run."
  


 

10 comments:

  1. And now, I'm crying. Your dad is so wise, isn't he? And, he knows of what he speaks.

    We are so proud of you guys, and so ready to welcome these babies into our hearts forever - no matter how long they stay in your home.

    love,mom

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  2. I've been thinking of you and Ryan and your next baby for several weeks now... and now I know why I have been praying short, seemingly unclear prayers for your family; God knows, the Spirit speaks, and my heart heard. We'll keep on praying when we feel you on our hearts/minds.

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    1. Kathie, I appreciate that so much! I have had many special times with Jesus talking about this baby. It feels a little intangible, but when others share my emotions it makes it feel more real!

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  3. I would love to keep updated on your journey! Nathan and I have always talked about adopting a child at some point, though we don't think it is time for us yet. Recently Nathan has been talking about the option of foster parenting with the intention of hopefully adopting. I'm not sold on the idea, my heart hurts just thinking about it, and God hasn't given us a final answer on when or how we are to go about it. I can't wait to see what God does in your family through these decisions you are making and the encouragement that you will be to me and so many others. Thanks!

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    1. I think you'll know when the time is right. For me, I am more motivated by the spiritual draw I feel from my future child than I am the desire to "do a good thing". I ache for her/him and just want them to come home. I told Ryan recently I feel the same way I felt when I was in labor with Violet and was ready to push. The midwife wasn't ready and everyone was saying, "Don't push yet, Charity!" And I was like, "Whatever! I am the mom and I know it's time to push! Throw your gear on and catch this baby!" Moms just know. :)

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  4. I can't believe I haven't commented on this yet! (I read it, but I don't like commenting from my iPod.)
    I just want to say, "Wow." I think this is such awesome news and I am so glad that you guys are doing this. I think it takes a special grace to be a foster parent, and I think you guys will rock. You definitely have the ability to love well.

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  5. I say Push Charity! Your heart knows. Your baby is out there and longing to be safe and in your arms! Timing all works out anyway . just be obedient to the call you feel, the pull to your child.. even if its tough it will so be worth it! I know from experience :)

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    1. Thank you, Faith! So encouraging to hear from you. I feel like a celebrity just commented on my blog!

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