Why does no one ever post pictures on Facebook of their kids lying around in their unmatched pajamas, watching an episode of Dora for the umpteenth time, with a crumby pop tart in their hands, and snot dripping out their nose? And why have I never written a blog post about the time Nola peed her pants THREE TIMES during church, and I had no clothes left for her, and I had to steal a diaper from April (did I ever tell you that, April?) and my image as the all powerful elimination communication mom was totally busted?
Well...because...who wants to share that part of themselves, really? Some people do it well with humor. But then, it's funny, so you at least get cool points for that.
I thought to myself today, "I should write a post about failing as a mom." I was inspired to do this because I didn't get much accomplished today. As in, so far I haven't showered, Nola went down for her afternoon nap still in her pjs. There is a pile of crap on my couch that has been sitting there for over a week. And the worst part is...I HAD to make a grocery run. So I did. I was that mom. In the store, with nasty hair, flip flops, an ugly, ginormous maternity shirt, and a child whose hair had not even been brushed, obviously still wearing her pajama shirt.
After deciding to write a FAIL post. I thought to myself, "Wait a minute. I am not a failure as a mom. That's ridiculous." Honestly, it's not even really funny to say that. Ok, sometimes it's funny. But deep down, we should never say such negative things about ourselves. I am not a failure as a mom, and neither are you. (Well...wait...Are you beating your children? I'm pretty sure that puts you in the failure category. But, otherwise, I'm pretty sure you're good.)
Think of the little things you do as a mom that make you feel like a failure. Now try to remember your mother doing any of those things. Having a hard time? So did I! The truth is, you probably remember the time your mom took you for a special trip to McDonalds where you got that super cool mermaid barbie in your Happy Meal. While your mom remembers that day she had no groceries in the house simply because she didn't want to go grocery shopping, and she ended up taking you to McDonalds. Where she proceeded to feed you trans fat, and you ended up getting that blasted Barbie doll that would give you the wrong definition of beauty.
I know my mom had her days. Actually, no I don't. I'm guessing my mom had her days. But the overall picture over rides the imperfections. The fact that we love our children, and are doing our best... that makes us beautiful mothers. And successful mothers.
Looking like a celebrity mom wherever you go? Not important.
Your house looking like a magazine cover? Your kid could care less.
That snuggle time that you took instead of loading the dishwasher? Your kid will remember forever.
So let go of your facebook image. Quit comparing yourself to your working mom friend, or your stay at home mom friend. Or even Angelina Jolie, heaven forbid.
Love your children. You are a beautiful mother.
Haha! I needed this today too! Same thing - I HAD to go grocery shopping, went in sweat pants, my husbands hoodie and no bra :) I got home, made Toby lunch - chicken nuggets and a banana - the only thing he is guaranteed to eat if I give it to him. He refuses to eat any vegetables whatsoever! Isn't he too young for that! Am I doing something wrogn?! Anyway, before I laid him down I rocked him, read him a story and sang to him, all the while thinking - I'm such a mess I feel like I fail as a mom :) So, it was great to read that you had the same kind of day as me. In fact, I hope you haven't showered yet because I haven't. I'm still wearing the same sweats I threw on this morning :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Char!
*wrong*
ReplyDeleteWow! Is your husband gone on a week-long trip? Because mine is right now, and that's why I wrote a post the other night with a similar feel (only I wasn't brave enough to talk about how I felt like a failure that night. I just talked about how moms are amazing. :) I needed to hear the victorious part of mommy-ness, even if I said it about myself. So I'm glad you said it, too. :)
ReplyDeleteYou ROCK! I am thrilled you can't remember my moments!!!!!
ReplyDeletemom
I totally, completely agree. We stress ourselves to the point of being no fun to be around and all for the purpose of maintaining an image! Now, granted, it is nice to be able walk unhindered through a room, but other expectations of cleanliness and organization could usually stand to be lowered at least a little (and probably a lot).
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we are all on the same page here! It would stink if I wrote this and you all responded, "What?! I never spend the day unshowered with crap everywhere!" Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteMy poor children. I've said, "I'm a terrible mommy" like three times this week. I'm quite sure they'll remember that. I'll stop doing it. Because I definitely love them. Love, love, love. And you're right, that's a beautiful kind of mom to be.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to remember this when the kids ask to be tucked in after I've already told them 3 times to quit stalling and just get to bed already, especially on nights when we don't get home until after bedtime and it's a school night. Which will they remember more? That they were a little tired for school the next day, or that Mom never tucked them in...
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I think most women place the bar too high for themselves. I think all moms have days like that. Some days I decide that if everyone stays safe and gets fed, it was a good day! One of my favorite lines: "There is a pile of crap on my couch that has been sitting there for over a week." I thought I was the only one this happens to!
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