Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Bittersweet Doesn't Say It

Parenting is so wonderfully...sucky.

Ryan and I just came home from a long weekend in Chicago at Story Conference 2010. (My sister has a great post about it here.) We came home to find our beautiful baby girl had grown five inches and successfully mastered the English language while we were gone! I have never found anything in life to have such a crazy mixture of emotions as I've found in being a mom. It is so exciting to see her learn new things and master big girl skills. I am ready to explode with happy pride, while at the same time I am ready to break down in sad tears to see the old days disappearing.

Sometimes I browse through my old pictures on Facebook. (Yes, I realize that may be the epitome of wasting time on a social networking site. Looking at your own stuff?) I see old pictures of Nola and can't believe how she's changed. It's such a weird emotion.

I am sad to see that old Nolie go...enjoying every minute of the Nolie that I have...and anticipating all the moments I will have with the Nolie that's coming. All at the same time.

It's just so...wonderfully sucky. Do you feel me?


  1. I feel you.SO.MUCH. Being a mama hurts - even the joy hurts because it's just too darn big. And it's weird when you feel you have to introduce yourself to your own child because they're such a different person than they were the week before. Mom swears every season just gets better and better. I'm counting on it. Because I still find it really hard to let go of each one.

  2. Yep -- here, too. (And I totally look at my kids pictures on fb.)

  3. Shared emotion is so much easier to bear! :)

  4. And then they become the best mothers in the world and the joy is almost - but not quite - too bright to bear. Your dad pointed out I never have to miss the three-year-old you. (or any other age) because I'll always have that little breaskast girl in my heart no matter how grown-up, gorgeous she becomes.
    Every stage is better.